Episode 16: "Everybody Who's Anybody"

Written by: Dan E. Fesman and Harry Victor
Directed by: Stephen Cragg
Episode Number: 116
Original Broadcast Date: February 25, 2000
Guest Stars: Chad Lowe (Craig Spence), James Rebhorn (General Irving), Faith Prince (Janet), Terry L. Beaver (Senator Kragen), Mary Catherine Martin (Carla), Luba Mason (Giddy Woman)

Due to recording problems, I'm listing the quotes that I would like to make into sound clips for the time being. The links all lead to a blank default page for the time being so it'll be easier for me to update when I get the clips made. Until I can get the problem fixed, this will have to suffice.

Lisa: Okay. He didn't call.
(Carla and Janet sigh)
Lisa: I don't care.
Carla: Men.
Lisa: I like men.
Carla: Women.
(??? K)

Lisa: I showed a man some houses. He said he would call and then for some reason, he didn't call. I'll live.
Janet: He checked out of the hotel. He left no forwarding address. You were devastated. We need to boogie.
(??? K)

General Irving: All Mr. Wiseman has to do is to get into the senator's safe, get the disk, and get out.
Michael: Right, I'll just ring his doorbell and...
(??? K)

Lisa: What's wrong with this one?
Heather: You want to get noticed, not offered shelter.
(??? K)

Dr. Morris: We really have to go, Mr. Wiseman. Mr. Wiseman, I believe there's a mirror in the car. Honestly, you and you can continue this love affair there.
(??? K)

Michael: Sorry. But, believe it or not, it's a little bit of a shock every time I look in a mirror. That's a compliment
Dr. Morris: We have to leave. That's a plea.
(??? K)

Michael: You heard of my company? DominatrixPizza.com? You place your order and then people in leather deliver your food, slap you around if you don't give them a big enough tip. (pause as Morris stares at him) I just made that last part up. We don't have to use it.
(??? K)

Michael: What do you think of PizzaDungeon.com?
Dr. Morris: I don't even want to know.
(??? K)

Michael: It's my first dress-up robbery. I guess I'm a little nervous.
(??? K)

Waitress: Champagne, sir?
Michael: Certainly.
Dr. Morris: Certainly not.
Michael: I meant, no thank you. I'm in training.
Waitress: It's working.
(??? K)

Dr. Morris: You should see a doorway that leads to a service stairway.
Michael: Well, you're half right. There is a doorway, but it's got a bar in front of it.
Dr. Morris: Bar? What kind of bar? Can you bend it? Can you lift it?
Michael: No... a bar. With glasses and ice and guys trying to ply girls with liquor.
(??? K)

Senator Kragen: Now, you wouldn't by chance be considering a sizable donation to the party?
Michael: Absolutely. A few kegs, maybe some chips.
(??? K)

Michael: I'm sorry.
Giddy Woman: No, it's my fault. That's what I get for walking through the middle of a dance floor. Wow, you're cute. Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
(??? K)

Michael: What's that old expression...? "Necessity's a mutha."
(??? K)

Michael: Let's see... Proof that aliens exist... Ah... Where Hoffa's buried... Hmm. Another Pamela Lee video... Where the rest of Hoffa's buried...
(??? K)

Dr. Morris: Well, brighten up. Sounds like you're almost done with this, Mr. Wiseman.
Giddy Woman: Hi, Michael William.
Senator Kragen: Mr. Lerman.
Michael: Senator.
Roger: Mr. Newman.
Lisa: Oh... my... God.
Michael: Hi.
(??? K)

Lisa: Do these people know who you are? Do they know how you behave?
Michael: Yeah.
Lisa: What? You look like you want to say something. What?!
Michael: I don't know. I suppose a dance is out of the question, right?
(??? K)

Dr. Morris: Mr. Wiseman, who are you talking to? That voice sounds very familiar.
Michael: There's nobody. Nothing. Just the sound of the other shoe dropping.
(??? K)

General Irving: My goodness. Did you just, uh...?
Michael: No big deal. Gravity does most of the work.
(??? K)

General Irving: Come on now.
Michael: Let her go first.
General Irving: Not until you give me the disk.
Michael: Then give me the gun.
General Irving: Not until I have the disk.
Michael: Then how about you point that gun at me?!
(??? K)

General Irving: Stop! Please! I can't breathe.
Michael: That's okay. I think I'm bleeding to death.
(??? K)

Lisa: I am so happy to see you're recovering, Mr. Newman.
Michael: I'm so happy you came to see me recovering, Mrs. Wiseman.
(??? K)

Michael: I didn't know there were girls in data processing. Ready to go? This was really nice. Although I was hoping for chocolate.
(??? K)

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