Episode 17: "Boy Wonder"

Written by: Ted Humphrey
Directed by: Vincent Misiano
Episode Number: 117
Original Broadcast Date: March 10, 2000
Guest Stars: Chad Lowe (Craig Spence), Maurice Dwyer (Jimmy), Tonye Patano (Mrs. Ferguson), Guy Ale (Dimitri), Matthew Sussman (Ross)

Due to recording problems, I'm listing the quotes that I would like to make into sound clips for the time being. The links all lead to a blank default page for the time being so it'll be easier for me to update when I get the clips made. Until I can get the problem fixed, this will have to suffice.

Michael: We here at Superheroes Anonymous realize you have a choice in law enforcement, and we're grateful you chose us.
(??? K)

Dr. Morris: I think the other Superfriends can handle things from here.
Michael: Whatever you say, Commissioner Gordon. The Batcave! 63rd and Madison Avenue... and step on it.
(??? K)

Roger: Uh-oh.
Lisa: Uh-oh? What does 'uh-oh' mean?
Roger: Hmm. It's, uh... it's 4:01. The market just... closed.
Lisa: Uh-oh.
(??? K)

Michael: Flipping those Cockamamie's car did a real number on me.
Dr. Morris: Oh, give it a rest; you're fine. And it's "Kysmenistanis," not Cockamamie.
Michael: Whatever. The point is I think that I have a very viable workman's Comp claim here. Or at the very least, a Workthing's Comp claim. And if you force me to continue to do this heavy lifting against my will I may have to file a grievance with the union. Be a sport; let me knock off early, huh? I chased those guys like you told me. I, uh, valet-parked their car. I nicked the paint a little bit but they'll never notice.
(??? K)

Special Agent: Who do you work for?
Jimmy: No, I-I don't... I don't work for anybody.
Special Agent: You don't work for anybody?
Jimmy: Well... Sometimes, Mr. Pulaski, down at Dixie's, he lets me sweep up and stuff and he gives me free comic books. Does that count?
(??? K)

Morris: Look at him. He sees movies we can't get into. He hears music... that no one's written.
(??? K)

Roger: Ever since I had that bit of luck with that AQZ stock, he seems to have gotten the idea (chuckles) that I have a knack for this kind of thing.
Heather: Kind of like an idiot savant?
Roger: Kind of like an idiot...
(??? K)

Roger: I know I have to go in there Monday morning and tell him that I - I'm simply a nincompoop who pushed the wrong button and got lucky. That - that there is no system. There is no model.
Heather: Uncle Roger, you're not simply a nincompoop.
Roger: Well, thank you, Heather. Coming from you, that's...
(??? K)

Spence: Why didn't you just hose me off? Give me the name of some stock - any stock? That would have been the stupid thing to do. You do have a model, don't you?
Roger: No.
Spence: That means yes.
Roger: That means no. This is me, remember? The chicken? The moron?
(??? K)

Michael: Ah! The glop du jour. Wonder what today's will be. Yellowish-orange? Brownish-brown? Or could it be... Oh, greenish-gray, my favorite.
(??? K)

Michael: Uh-oh. I've seen that look before. You usually get it right before I have to hang off someplace really high take some bullets in the gut, or outrun some traffic.
Dr. Morris: Mr. Wiseman...
Michael: And you get that sound in your voice, too. You can't fool me, Doc. I'm definitely in for some wear and tear.
(??? K)

Michael: The two of us will just run down there in the limo we'll roll down the window and anybody that walks by, we'll say, "Hi, there. We're looking for the neighborhood missile dealer. Any idea where we can find him?"
(??? K)

Jimmy: There are no superheroes. Deep down inside, we all know that there are no superheroes. So, get away from me and get away from my door!
(Michael punches through the door)
Jimmy: (laughing)
(??? K)

Jimmy: You going to fix that door before my mom gets home, right?
Michael: Doc?
Dr. Morris: Consider it done, Mr. Wiseman.
(??? K)

Woman: Hey, Jimmy, who's your friend? I got some Wonder Woman for him.
Jimmy: She's nice, huh? You got a girlfriend?
Michael: I used to, uh... we don't get to see much of each other anymore.
(??? K)

Michael: Don't you know this will kill you? Oh, and by the way, so will this.
(Michael drop-kicks terrorist across the room)
(??? K)

Jimmy: Hey, you remember you were talking about your girlfriend and how you don't see her anymore? That's the way it has to be. You're a Superman. Superman doesn't get Lois Lane.
Michael: Oh, yeah? What does Superman get?
Jimmy: He gets... to be Superman.
(??? K)

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